Letters From Home
by Oriana
Summary: First of all, a warming:: YAOI 1x2. So no flames, please! Heero recieves a letter which was never meant to be sent....
1.

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Title: Letters From Home, 1/? "Reprieve"

Author: Oriana Maxwell

Disclaimer: If I owned them, they would be chained in my basement... ^^;

Rating: PG-13

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Dear Heero,

//No, scratch that, it's too familiar.//

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Heero::

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Is there ever any reprieve from all of this? The pain, the anger, the eventual defeat.... falling when you know you can't ever get up. So many times, I've watched you sleep. You don't know, I know you don't. If you did, I would be laying on the floor with a bullet resting inside my head, blood pooling out underneath me. There's no question of your feelings...that is, if you even have any at all. Sometimes you're just this emotionless bastard who gets a kick out of playing with my head. But then, other times... other times, I've caught this look in your eyes, and it I didn't know better, I might think you even cared for me.

But that's impossible.

Do you remember when you jumped off that building? Hell, I do. I was so damn scared, calling your name, yelling for you to open the fucking parachute.... and what brought you out of it was her voice, Relena's voice, calling to you. Not mine, hers. How many times have you saved her life, supposedly in the name of peace? There's just too many to count. All I have of you is a picture, dammit, and a bad one at that. You were sitting on the dock, staring out at the ocean... I had a camera with no flash, so I took the picture. I guess you mistook the click of the camera as a gun being uncocked, because you spun around, ready to kill whoever had intruded upon him. Your eyes almost softened when you looked at me...almost. Or, it could just be my wishful thinking. It's probably the latter. She holds your heart in her hands, squeezing it gleefully, doesn't she? Doesn't she, Heero?

You're probably never going to even be reading this letter, funny I realize that now. I'll bet that the moment you saw my name on the return address, you ripped it up and tossed it in the trash in disgust. I do disgust you. Every time I try to put an arm around you, you shrug it away and 'Omae o korosu, baka' me. I never have found out what that means. No one seems to want to tell me. Especially you. If it's meant to be insulting, just say it in a language I can understand, dammit! Or do I repulse you so much that you don't feel like taking the time would be worth your while?

I'll do anything to make you happy, Heero, just to see you smile, don't you understand that? I'll even willingly hand you over to Relena's clutches to live out the rest of your life...well, maybe not completely willingly, but I'll do it if it will make you happy. Have you ever been happy? In your entire life, have you ever smiled for no reason, just because you feel good inside and you want the whole world to know how you fell? I have. I remember this one time when we were on that one mission...you know, the one where...oh, never mind. You weren't paying attention to me then, you won't be now.

Did you know that I've been doing some research on the least painful applications of suicide? Because I think it would make you happy if I was completely gone, but I don't want to prolong the pain any longer than I have to to leave it forever. Would that make you happy, Heero? Because if it would, I'll gladly do it. Maybe I'll jump off a building, wouldn't that be so ironic? It *would* make you happy, right? Right?

Or would it make you happy if I told you how I felt, just so you could look me in the eye and confirm that you felt the exact opposite? Dammit, you can't begin to know the depths of my feelings for you. You have no feelings, as far as I can tell. Maybe you show them to Relena. All those times that you have solo missions... are they really missions, or are they excuses to be with her? Not that I care, as long as it makes you happy. 

But truly, Heero, is there ever going to be a reprieve for this pain I feel? I know you're probably the wrong person to ask, but I can't help myself. All I want in life is to make you happy, but I can't seem to. When I talk to you, you glare at me and seem to tone me out, not listening to me chatter. When I cease the babbling you call my words, when I try to be silent for you, you get all confused, as if you want me to talk. Why do you have to be so damned perplexing, Yuy? But...is there ever a reprieve? Have you ever had one, in your life?

You wouldn't understand the pain, Heero...it eats at me, tearing me up, all because I want you so badly...and I know I never will have you. I've tried to kill myself before; there are scars all the way up and down my arms attesting to that fact. But... at the last moment, before the last slash across my battered wrists, I stop, and I think -- Is this what he wants? Will this really make him happy? Or am I throwing something away as a 'it could have been'? So I stop. I put away my knife, or whatever sharp instrument that I've been using, and I take a bandage and wrap my arms, waiting for them to heal. Well, I guess you know now why I wear long sleeves in the summer. I stop, because I just can't let go, I can't stop hoping for that reprieve.

Do they even exist?

~Duo Maxwell

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C & C, onegai? Email me at BeckyBast@aol.com


	2. 

Title: Letters From Home 2/?

Author: Oriana Maxwell

Disclaimer: If I owned them, they would be chained in my basement. Quite obviously and sadly, they are not. BUT ENDLESS WALTZ IS ON TOONAMI TODAY! WAHAHAHAHAH!

Rating: PG-13

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Heero read the letter, his free hand gripping at the bed sheets and twisting them in his fist. "Duo...no..." Faltering slightly, he grabbed an ancient inkwell and a pad of legal paper from his desk. He began to write with shaky penmanship; it had been a long while since he had actually written something. However, his laptop was broken and he felt a need to answer Duo's letter at once.

_Duo:_

He crossed out the word. //It's not right for this... I'd use that type of address when writing to someone like Relena.// He grimaced slightly. After one week as her security chief, he'd left the job without a second glance.

_Dear Duo,_

How can you think that? Don't you know that I've also watched you sleep? Your mask drops then; I can read you so plainly. I know I'm not very good at expressing my emotions; hell, I'm terrible at it. God, Duo, I'm so sorry... you can't believe how sorry I am. And I don't blame you if you never read this letter. The way I've acted towards you...is awful. I can't even begin to imagine how I might feel if you acted that way towards me, a seeming of indifference yet hate at the same time.

I hadn't realized that you thought Relena had made me pull that parachute cord. Sure, it was her voice, but not for the reason that you think. When I heard her yelling, I hypothesized, in one crazed, delusional moment, that if I died and went to hell, she would somehow follow me down. Either that to torment me forever in purgatory. I decided to live, for then at least. No, I don't think I would have gone to heaven. I'm sure of all of that now, what with all the pain I've inadvertently and...and I hate to admit it...and sometimes purposefully and perversely caused you.

Did you ever notice that one of the double prints you made of that roll of film was missing? I'm, um, a little embarrassed here, but...remember that one picture you had Wufei take of you on the beach? God, his face was so funny... Duo, I was the one who stole that picture from your bag. I wanted something of you to carry with me on solo missions --which, by the way, were NOT an excuse to see Relena. How can you think that?! The damn girl is obsessive! But about taking that picture... I wanted you with me in some form or another, even though I wouldn't admit it to myself...or you, especially. If there's one thing in my life that I regret, it's not telling you how I felt...feel, still.

If you're even reading this...Duo, I could never, EVER, think you were disgusting. Even if you were a rotting pile of garbage, I would still love you. I would love your personality and your laughter, they way the room lights up for me when you walk in... I we'll be in the same room together again. But you aren't garbage and you aren't disgusting or repulsive or filthy or whatever you might think you are; you're beautiful, absolutely, amazingly beautiful, and I love you all the more for it. 

And in case you were wondering... 'Omae o korosu, baka' means literally 'I will kill you, idiot'... but don't stop reading here, please. To me, it was more like, 'You'll be the death of me', in a figurative sense, the baka part being the only term of endearment I would allow myself. Please don't take it the wrong way, it wasn't intended to mean that. Never would I do anything to harm you. Though, I suppose I already have. It's one of the other things I regret in my life so far; I'm sure there will be many more regrets by the time I die.

What will make me happy? I'm not sure. I was happy once...there was a little girl, with a puppy...she gave me a flower...and then I... I killed her. I didn't mean to... I didn't...but her orphanage was destroyed in an explosion. I've never told anyone that before...somehow, my soul feels lighter. Baka, if I had no feelings, would I be writing this letter to you? I've always paid attention to you, you just never noticed. I'm the perfect soldier remember? Well, maybe not so perfect, for neglecting you like this... Kami-sama, words cannot express how sorry I am.

NANI?! You listen to me, Duo, promise me something-- you have to promise me that you would NEVER, ever take your life! It would destroy me, from the inside out. I know what would make me happy now-- It's you, for you to live. I don't know what I would do without you, without merely knowing that you existed in this world and universe. You are everything to me, and if you kill yourself, I am following you. It's not an obsession either...it's love. I've come to realize that after the war.

Duo... I don't know if you will ever find your reprieve, but I will do my best to help you find it. And if I can't, if I don't try, I'm not worthy of you. You already deserve someone so much more than I am, because you *are* my reprieve. You saved me from myself from the moment I first saw you. I can only hope that I can save you from me.

God, Duo...I never knew that you cut yourself. Why did you hide it from me, I would have stopped you the moment I knew -- or was that the reason that you didn't tell me? Were you afraid that I would stop you? But why? If only I had known... 

Duo, if I don't get a reply from you soon, you know I'll expect the worst.

With unashamed love, Heero Yuy.

//There.// Heero stood and sheathed his pen, taking a little comfort in the familiar clicking sound. "Misuzu?" No response. He tried again, raising his voice a bit. "Misuzu?"

A teenage girl ran into the room, slightly breathless and her cheeks flushed. "Yes, Yuy-sama?" //Oh, please don't let him be firing me...//

He held out the letter. "Can you please get this sent, as soon as possible? It may be a matter of life and death."

She blinked once, then reached out to take the letter, glancing at the address. "Duo Maxwell? Wasn't he also one of the Gundam pilots, Yuy-sama?"

Heero nodded. "Yes, that's why this letter is of utmost importance. And Misuzu-"

"Yes, Yuy-sama?" She stopped in her hastened flight to the nearest post office.

The former pilot smiled slightly. "It's Heero, remember? Not Yuy-sama."

"Yes, Yu- I mean, Heero." As she ran down the stairs and out of the office, she couldn't help but notice that was the first time she had ever seen him smile.

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TBC!

C & C is very much appreciated! Even flames! *evil grin* BeckyBast@aol.com is the addy to send all feedback to!


	3. 

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head

titleLetters From Home 3/? "Ai Shiteru"/title

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BRBTitle: Letters From Home 3/? "Ai Shiteru"

BR Author: Oriana Maxwell/B

BR

BR*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

P"Fuck!" Duo searched frantically through the piles of paper on his desk, a forgotten sucker hanging out of the corner of his mouth. "Where is it?!" //I put it here last Friday, I know I did!// "Hey, Wufei, get your ass in here and help me look for something!"/P

PIn the next room, Wufei dragged himself out of bed and staggered into Duo's office/kitchen/crash space. "What?" He mumbled sleepily./P

P"Where is it?!"/P

P"Where is what?"/P

P"That letter!"/P

PThe Chinese boy blinked in recognition. "Ohm, you mean the one addressed to Yuy. I thought you forgot to send it, so I did it for you."/P

P"You didn't."/P 

P"You mean you weren't going to send whatever it was you wrote? That's weak, Maxwell."/P

PDuo shook his head, running a shaky hand through his messy hair and then pointing towards the door. "I need to be alone for a little while, okay Wu-man?"/P

PHe shrugged and left the room, supposedly headed for the nearest grocery store -- they were running low on food supplies./P

PAfter Wufei had gone, Duo's legs gave out and he sat down on the floor, hard. "Oh crap, that letter wasn't supposed to be sent... I've got a hundred like it in the desk drawer... I was gonna burn them tomorrow, try to forget about that bastard... now he's going to come after me, and he's gonna hate me for the rest of his life. All I wanted was to be near him... now he isn't even gonna let me do that..." He whispered brokenly to himself, his head falling to rest on his knees. "Maybe... maybe I should just..."/P

PThe doorbell rang, and Duo struggled to his feet, brushing aside the suicidal thoughts for a moment. He opened the door a crack, peering cautiously outside. Even in Preventer headquarters, old habits never died. "Yeah, who is it?"/P

PA timid young woman backed away slightly, holding out a neatly folded envelope that had way too many stamps on it. "You have mail, Mr. Maxwell..." She mentioned nervously as he reached out and took it, face paling when he recognized the handwriting and the return address. "Mr. Maxwell? Are you all right?"/P

PHe nodded briskly, placing some small bills in the palm of her hand and closing the door. Once alone again, he turned the letter over and over in his hands, studying every nuance, every aspect of the handwriting presented to him before he realized that this was the real thing, no forgery involved./P

P//To open, or not to open... that is the question. If I open it, I know. If I don't open it, I'll always wonder what was in the letter... same repercussions for both, though. Both choices could cause the same results.///P

PDuo made his decision, slitting the top of the envelope with practiced skill. He read the letter inside, his hands shaking so badly he thought he would drop the thin paper. /P

PI_Dear Duo... /P_

P...wanted something of you to carry with me...I wanted you with me ...If there's one thing in my life that I regret, it's not telling you how I felt...feel, still./P

P...love your personality and your laughter, they way the room lights up for me when you walk in... /P

P...you're beautiful, absolutely, amazingly beautiful, and I love you all the more for it.../P

P ...Baka, if I had no feelings, would I be writing this letter to you? Kami-sama, words cannot express how sorry I am.../P

P...I know what would make me happy now-- It's you, for you to live. I don't know what I would do without you, without merely knowing that you existed in this world and universe. You are everything to me.../P

BR

BR

PWith unashamed love, Heero Yuy...I/P

BR

PDuo let out a strangled gasp, his mouth working but unable to utter any words for the time being. Finally, he made it past the lump in his throat. "He...he wants me to live. I finally know what will make him happy." As he read further, his mouth dropped open in amazement. "He.. he loves me?! Oh, Kami-sama! He loves me!"/P

BR

PI_Dear Heero,/P_

PYou'll never have to expect the worst again. I promise to you, just like you asked - I promise never to try to kill myself again. Your letter saved me, Heero. I was about to...y'know. And then the doorbell rang, and there was a letter from you./P

PI hope you aren't mad, and frankly, I don't blame you if you are, because there was stuff in that letter I never meant for ANYONE to see. Hell, I have a whole stack like them that I never sent to you; I was going to burn them. However, I guess fate (AKA Chang Wufei) intervened, because it was sent against my will... I don't regret having you know that I love you, though. You don't know how good it feels to know you feel the same way...or, maybe, you do./P

PI'm not the one that's beautiful, though... you are. And don't you dare deny it! I can see you denying it through the ink... see, now you're smirking, that annoying one where you pull up one corner of your mouth just the tiniest little bit...gotcha, ne Hee-chan? I hope I can see it in person again someday, be in the same room with you like you said in your letter. You did mean that, right? I mean, you weren't joking or anything?/P

PSo... now that I've got the mushy stuff out of the way... What are you doing these days? I'm rooming with Wufei at Preventers HQ , doing some work for them about all of those terrorist attacks that have been popping up. And NO, it's not that kind of rooming, you hentai. Haha, see? I HAVE picked up on some of your language. No more babbling in Japanese for you now, 'cause Duo can understand you! Oh, look! Now you're amazed because I actually sat down and studied something for once! Well, I guess I have changed in the past year or so since I saw you. You probably have too. That doesn't matter to me, though; I'll still love you./P

PI'ved changed a lot, actually. Remember Shinigami? He's all but gone now, only pops up when I get really pissed off. Then, it's time to run for cover, as some of my co-workers have learned. I never will forget the coffee incident. You should have seen the look on Lady Une's face when I accidentally broke her glasses... it wasn't my fault though, honest! I had spilled some coffee on the floor, and was cleaning it up when she walked in and...slipped. Yeah, that's right, she slipped! ^_^/P

PI've also...I guess you would call it matured... a bit. I understand now why my talking annoyed you so much, and why you never wanted me to touch you. It wasn't the mission, it was me. Maybe I'm feeling some delusions of importance here...but then again, maybe not./P

PSo, you're going to come see me now, right? Where are you anyways? Well, actually, Wufei must have known your address, so I'll just ask him before I mail this. That makes sense. See, I'm not the total idiot I used to be. Still slightly a flighty, demented, chatterbox... but not all the time. I do have my moments. Thanks for giving me this chance to show you./P

PAi shiteru, Heero./P

BR

BR~Duo Maxwell.

BR

BR

BR~TBC~

BR*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

BRFeedback and C & C is very much appreciated!!! Please email me at BeckyBast@aol.com

BR

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	4. 

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PART FOUR -- "Nosy Secretaries"

"Yuy-sama, you have mail!"

Heero sighed at the honorific that just wouldn't leave him alone. "It's Heero, Misuzu."

"Heero-sama, you have mail!" She thrust out her hand to reveal a large stack of letters.

The former pilot laughed to himself and took the mail, quickly sorting it into three piles :: Junk mail, bills, and personal correspondences. One quickly scrawled address caught his eye and he tore open the envelope, scanning the letter and sighing in relief as he took in the first paragraph. He read further, smiling slightly. //He can chatter senselessly even in writing...// Heero's eyes widened when he reached the end of the letter. //He loves me...he wants me to come visit him?// "Misuzu?"

"Yes, Yuy-sama?" The girl looked up from her computer, quickly closing an email document. //Ohhh, great...let me guess, he saw me uploading those files to my website...//

He tossed her the discarded envelope. "See if you can pull up a map of the area where this street address is."

Looking a little confused, she typed the address into the tool bar and came up with a small map of the area. "It's in Tokyo, Yuy-sama. A little out by the edge of the city to the west."

He nodded, remembering. "Hai, hai, that's where they decided to put the new Preventer's Headquarters. Why didn't I think of that?"

Misuzu shrugged, opening the desk drawer and taking out a fresh box of chocolate pocky. "Want some?"

He gave her a strange look, then rifled through the papers on his desk and found a blank sheet. "No, thanks, just give me some peace and quiet for a bit. I need to write something."

"Sure, Yuy-sama."

Heero groaned. "And quit with the Yuy-sama-ing!"

"Yes, Yuy-sama."

The Japanese boy put pen to paper and began to write.

~_Dear Duo,_

As of right now, I am about to go insane. My secretary is driving me crazy; she won't stop calling me Yuy-sama, and -- hold on a minute.~

Heero had become aware of a crunching sound overhead, and he looked up to see Misuzu standing behind him, peering over his shoulder and munching thoughtfully on a stick of Pocky. "Misuzu!"

She widened her eyes innocently, making a face as he pointed at her swivel chair.

"Go back to your work; this is none of your business."

"Hmmph...allright, Yuy-sama."

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~Sorry about that; my secretary was looking over my shoulder. Anyways... so, you wondered what I've been doing this past year. Actually, I -- and you won't believe this -- I've been working in North America for about 6 months now. I'm helping out with one of the adoption agencies/orphanages that sprang up after the war to take care of all the orphans. I figure I owe it to the kids; I may have killed their own fathers and mothers. At first, I was doing it out of a sense of duty, not even noticing the individual children. It was only a job. But then they ran out of room in the orphanage, and I had to take in a little girl, about five or six years old -- and I started really caring about these kids. I wanted to adopt that little girl, but they wouldn't let me -- they said I was too young and too unemotional. With them, yeah, unemotional. Not with that little girl. I made sure she got into a good home, though. The people who adopted her will take good care of her...if they don't...

I have my own office...well, I have to share it with my secretary, who is looking over my shoulder AGAIN...she's gone now. I think she got the point when I wrote 'if a secretary wants to keep her job, she's better stop being so nosy' on a note and gave it to her. I wouldn't fire her, though. She does a good job, and I guess we're starting to kinda be friends. Although I REALLY wish she would stop calling me Yuy-sama. I feel like I'm some middle-aged geezer.

Of course I wasn't kidding about being near you again. Why would I joke about something like that? You know it's not like me. Actually, you probably think it's not like me to joke at all... I've changed too, Duo. I think it's for the better; you'll have to decide your views on the subject the next time we see each other. Shinigami's gone, ne? I can't say I'll miss him, though he did make the space battles...interesting...to say the least. Truthfully? I think Shinigami is a part of you, Duo, and always will be. You can't get rid of him so easily, because he's a part of who you are, just like the Perfect Soldier is a part of me that I don't want to remember either. He'll always be there though, speaking metaphorically of course.

You..broke...Lady Une's...glasses?! Oh, I wish I could have been there to see her face! Suuuure, she slipped on the coffee, ne Duo, are you sure you didn't have oh, say, a foot out in front of her or anything?

Anyways, I'm glad you're rooming with Wufei. He's probably a good influence on you, and vice versa. You need a little order in your life, and he needs a little laughter...not that I don't too, so don't get any ideas! Just kidding..well, mostly. Really, though, I thought he and Sally would have been together, engaged or married or something like that by now. I guess fate has it's little twists in life, ne? Write back soon; maybe we can figure out when/where to meet.

Ai shiteru Shi-chan....

~Heero Yuy~

END PART FOUR


	5. 

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PART FIVE --- "Pressed Roses"

"Do you have your plane tickets, Yuy-sama?"

Heero patted his pocket and nodded once. "I'm trusting you to hold down the fort as long as I'm gone, Misuzu-chan..." He warned her, "No parties in the office."

Her face fell slightly, then her smile returned. //He didn't mention anything about no friends coming over...Geez, I feel like a teenager about to be left home alone by her parents...!// "Of course, Yuy-sama. Would I do such a thing?"

The former pilot gave her a withering gaze and rolled his eyes. "Yes."

Misuzu raised her eyebrows, then turned back to her computer, sending a quick message to one of her friends. --_He's going to go visit that person he's been writing too!-_ She recieved a reply almost immediately.

_--Seriously? Sugoi! This means we win our bets with the others!!! XD--_

The teenager's fingers flew across the keyboard, not noticing her boss peering silently over her shoulder, smirking.

"So, I see you have a personal stake in my love life." Heero commented, tapping her on the back.

"Eep!" _--G2G, TTYL! BOS!-- _(1) Misuzu closed the message screen, a perturbed look on her face. "It isn't polite to read your employees personal correspondences, you know..." She muttered, glaring at his reflection in the computer monitor.

"I think there's an exeption when aforementioned employee is betting on her boss's good fortune." Heero straightened up and strolled out the door, hoisting a small duffel bag on one shoulder and tucking his laptop under his other arm. "I'll see you later," He called back into the office as he hurried down the stairs.

Misuzu stretched back in her chair, and punched a button on the intercom. "He's gone! PAR-TEEEEE!!!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_Dear Duo --_

Guess what! I'm on my way to come see you right now; in fact I'm on the shuttle, so I hope you're awake and getting this email. If you aren't, you're going to be in for one hell of a surprise, koi.

~Ai shiteru, Heero.

Heero grinned briefly to himself and pressed the 'send' button on his laptop as his dinner was deposited in front of him.

++++++

Duo rubbed his eyes sleepily, hoisting himself up on his elbows. //Wonder if the mail is here yet...// He staggered to his feet when the doorbell rang. //Must be the mail now.// The American pilot opened the door. "H-HEERO?" His eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the floor in shock.

"DUO!" The Japanese boy hastily caught Duo in his arms, effortlessly hoisting the smaller boy on to the couch and kneeling next to him. "Duo, daijobu?"

Duo's eyelids fluttered slightly but didn't open.

"Shimatta..." Heero stood and moved silently around the apartment, opening random doors untill he found the bathroom. //Hand towels... I need a hand towel and some cool water...// He reached for the towel hanging on the wooden rod and was about to turn on the faucet when something caught his eye and he stopped. Heero reached out, almost in wonder, and turned the object over in his hands. //He kept it... I can't believe he kept it...// He smiled. //I remember when I gave this to him...//

+++++++(Heero Flashback)

He sat in an open feild, the warm spring breeze tossling his already mussed hair and the sunlight streaming down upon his face.

"Heero! Oiy, Hee-chan!"

Heero looked up to see the braided pilot of Deathscythe hurtling towards him, and, out of instinct, he ducked as Duo Maxwell plowed straight into him, unable to slow down from his hectic speed. Heero let out a choked cry as they tumbled down a small hill together, eventually taking residence in a tangled rosebush at the bottom.

Duo shook his head, clearing it slightly, and looked up to where Heero lay on top of him. "Heh heh... Gomen nasai, Hee-chan..." He muttered, a deep blush spreading across his cheeks.

Tilting his head to the side and looking into Duo's eyes, Heero reached up and plucked a single red rose from the bush. "For you."

+++++++ (End Flashback)

Heero grinned one last time, wistfully, and set the dried and pressed rose back down on the shelf. //He fainted when he saw me... that can't be a good sign...// He picked up the discarded cloth and wandered back into the living room. Heero once again knelt beside Duo, wiping his face gently with the cool cloth. //Come on, wake up...//

+++++++

Duo slowly became aware of a pair of cool hands stroking his face. //I must be dreaming...This can't be real...// Carefully, he forced his eyes to open into small slits and he peered up at his benefactor. //HEERO?!//

Heero was kneeling beside him, fidgeting nervously while tending to the American pilot. "Great...maybe I should call an ambulance if he doesn't wake up within the next five minutes or so...Ku'so! I didn't mean for him to pass out... all I wanted to do was surprise him...why do my plans always get messed up like this? Now he's going to be mad at me..."

Duo waited untill he looked away, then reached up and grasped one of Heero's hands. "Hee-chan, why would I be mad at you?"

The Japanese boy looked down into a pair of violet blue eyes and wrapped his arms around the slim frame, holding him tight. "Duo-koi..."

Duo made a face, pretending to choke. "Ach, sweetheart, Duo can't breathe...!"

Heero pulled away in alarm, his eyes widening in fear. "G- Gomen..."

The other boy laughed and swung his legs off the couch, standing and pulling Heero up with him. "I was kidding, Hee-chan... only kidding." He watched as the brown-haired boy relaxed slightly and graced him with a soft grin. 

"Duo..."

"I can't believe you're here..." Duo reached out and gently pinched the skin that showed beneath Heero's jacket sleeve.

"Itai!" The Japanese boy jumped slightly, rubbing his arm and glaring at the other. "Baka, what was that for?!"

"I thought I was dreaming..." Duo muttered, a hint of red spreading across his cheeks.

"Maybe you need me to convince you otherwise, then..." Heero leaned down, his bangs brushing against Duo's forehead, and captured his lips in a gentle kiss, smiling against the American's lips.

"I feel like Sleeping Beauty or something..." Snickered Duo, sitting up on the couch. "Watch as Shinigami rises! Beware, lost souls, for he hath been awakened with the kiss of an angel!" He pulled Heero to sit next to him, snuggling into his chest. "Mmm... you're so warm..."

The Japanese boy lifted one of Duo's arms from his waist, running his fingers along the glaring scars and welts. //This is all my fault...//

Duo caught the other boy staring at his arm and pulled it away guiltily, hiding it in the sleeve of his sweatshirt. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't blame yourself. This was my fault. I was stupid. I thought it would bring you back. I was too much of an idiot to realize that I wasn't only hurting myself when I cut, I was hurting you too... I wasn't the only one who would care if I died. That's why I stopped." Duo pushed his sleeve back up to his elbow and showed Heero the pale flesh. "Look, see..." He traced his index finger along the criss-crosses of the scars. "I stopped. None of these are recent."

"I'm glad."

"Well, I'm glad you're glad."

"Well, I'm glad you're glad I'm glad!"

Duo let out a surprised laugh. //Is it just me, or is the perfect soldier developing a sense of humor?// He was reaching to pull Heero into another kiss when he heard the distinct sound of a cell phone ringing...

TBC! MWAHAHAHAHA! Who's calling Heero? Did someone catch Misuzu in the act of buying crepe paper to decorate the office? Or is it something more serious?


	6. 

PART SIX

"Sayonara, Heero"

Heero cursed softly to himself and jerked away from a very dissapointed Duo, yanking his cell phone out of his pocket and flipping it open at his ear. "Moshimoshi?" He listened intently to the voice on the other side of the line while Duo propped himself up on his elbows and watched curiously.

"Ne, Heero, who is it?"

The Japanese boy held up a silencing finger and talked into the phone, a worried frown creasing his face. "You're sure? You searched for the bodies?" He listended again, then nodded, concern lighting in his eyes. "All right, I'll get there as soon as possible. Emma is okay, right? She's not injured?"

Duo started. //Emma? I thought Heero was anything but straight...//

Heero nodded emphatically. "Hai. Ja ne." He closed the cell phone and stood, making to leave the room.

"Matte, Heero!" Duo launched himself from the couch and grabbed the other boy's arm, holding on to it firmly. "Where the hell are you going?"

"Business."

"What the -- I thought you worked at an orphanage! You were talking about-- about bodies!" 

Heero nodded. "Hai, I do work at an orphanage. Emma's foster parents were killed in a fire. I'm going to go get her; she probably doesn't even realize what's happened."

The American glared at him suspiciously. "Who's Emma?"

The other boy smirked. "She's five years old, Duo. Hardly competetion. I'll be back with her as soon as I can. The red tape may take a while."

Duo sighed and picked up something from the floor. "Well, at least take a jacket. I can't believe you're still wearing that spandex thing in the dead of winter..."

Heero glanced back at him gratefully and allowed the American to help him into the jacket. "I'll keep in touch." He pulled Duo in for a long, sweet kiss, then turned and left, giving his hand a quick squeeze before he let go.

"Sayonara, Heero..."

*~*~*One week later...*~*~*

/_/Dear Duo..._

Things are taking a little longer than expected; I'm trying to go for the whole way with Emma :: Adoption. She is the sweetest little girl you've ever seen; I think I mentioned her in a letter to you. I only expect the procedures to take at most a week more, though; I do still have some contacts, you know. Not to mention my own hacking skills. Damned red tape... I could swear this damn competence trial has been going on for days already...oh, wait, it has.

I don't know what they can find wrong with me. They tell me that I am not capable of rearing a child; that I'm too young and too emotionless. They don't think they can trust a little girl to the care of a war veteran; that I'll somehow scar her for life with my ideas and memories of the war she so barely escaped being caught up in. She WAS caught up in it. Her parents were OZ pilots. I know what you're thinking, but it's not true. She was too young to be indoctrinated in their ideals; I assure you that she is her own person and no one elses.

Are you doing allright? How's Wufei? I'm sorry this is all taking so long; I truly didn't expect it to. But then, you know the beauracracy. They're all like Relena, believing that they're all so perfect in their perfect worlds, and not noticing the discprepancies and faults of them and their peers. Not noticing that the people they govern and 'protect' are dying because of their protector's ignorance of the way life really is.

Because life is not perfect, no matter how much they try to make it. Life hurts; life itself is pain. The only way to make it bearable is to rise above the pain, as I've done, and as I know you've done. Live for now, live for today, live for life. To make yourself better than those who beleive they are the best. 

This girl has also risen above the pain. She was strong when she was informed of her original parents' death, and I know she will try to be strong when she realizes what has happened to her foster parents, but I have to be there for her. Just as I will always be there for you. I hope you can grow to love her as I do both you and her.

I do love you, you know.

~Heero Yuy~//

Heero pressed the send button on his laptop, and then slid the slim machine back into it's case dangling from his shoulder. He heard light running footsteps behind him and turned around to see a small girl hurtle herself towards him.

"Heero-sama!" A ball of auburn-haired energy sprang into his arms and gazed up at him with glistening green eyes. "They said you were coming, but I didn't believe them... cause they said my new mommy and daddy were coming, too, but they didn't come...so I thought you weren't gonna come...and I was scared...and it hurt...and...and..."

Heero lay a quieting finger on the little girl's lips and hugged her close to him, witholding his own tears as he realized that he was going to have to be the one to tell her about the fire. "Your new parents won't be coming to get you again, sweetie..."

Her lower lip trembled and she buried her face in his chest. "They're dead, too, aren't they?" She whispered in a tiny voice.

Heero nodded, not wanting to lie to her. She burst into tears, and Heero stood, still holding her in his arms, gently comforting her, then turned and walked into the next room where the justice of the peace was waiting. He wiped away the moisture on his cheeks before looking up and sitting down, allowing Emma to remain on his lap.

The tall man before him cleared his throat uncomfortably at witnessing such an emotional scene, the slid a sheaf of papers across his desk and pointed to a single line at the bottom of the last page. "Sign here."

Heero signed.

TBC


	7. Dreams Come True

Title: Letters from Home :: Dreams come True  
Part: 7/7 (epilogue on the way) (plus maybe another related series.)  
Author: Oriana  
Pairings: 1x2  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: Uh, it's confusing me too. *pats readers*  
Notes: I know this part took me forever. You see, all my muses had packed up and left me. Add that to the fact that I was in a pretty deep depression and couldn't spit out any sap if my life depended on it. *returns to typing up the fanfic*  
Oh, and the quick little lyrics are from the opening theme of Star Trek: Enterprise  
P.S. This part is in Duo's POV.  
  
---------  
  
//It's been a long road  
Getting from there to here  
It's been a hard road  
But our time is drawing near//  
  
  
I was napping on my couch, a favorite pastime as you may have already guessed, when I slowly became aware of a soft, insistent knocking on my door. "Nnngh... Coming..."  
  
Dare I to hope? I'd been dreaming a wonderful sort of dream, one that involved a certain golden-skinned man... I pushed those thoughts away before my mind could run amok with them, and made for he door as the knocking became louder.  
  
"Dammit, Duo, why can't you get a doorbell...?" The comment was muttered quietly in the hall outside, but my heart leapt as I recognized the voice that it originated from.  
  
I still swear I flew the rest of the way to the door, flinging it open and launching myself into his arms. I felt him laughing softly as I clung to him, burying my face into his shoulder. It wasn't until I felt a gentle tugging on the end of my t-shirt that I noticed the small girl standing beside the man I was currently glomping. I reluctantly detached myself from the lovely warmth that was Heero, kneeling down until I could greet her at her own height. "Hi. My name's Duo."  
  
She smiled, a dimple popping up in her cheek. "I'm Emma. Heero talks about you a lot. He told me ALL about you, 'specially how he wants to mar-mmph!" The little girl glared up at Heero, who had clamped his hand over her mouth.  
  
I choked back a laughing fit that dared to overtake me, staggering back until I hit the couch and motioned for them to join me. I was more than a little bit surprised when Emma scrambled into my lap, but Heero just grinned - he actually GRINNED - and ruffled her hair.  
  
"Don't scare Duo, sweetie... He's not used to you." He plucked the little girl from my lap then, depositing her on his own.   
  
Huh.  
  
Interesting.  
  
I propped my chin on my fists, leaning forward and staring at the pair that they made. She was ensconced against him, auburn hair mixing with chocolate brown as he bent down to listen to something she was saying. I felt a sudden, irrational flash of jealousy at how close they were. She'd had him all to herself for almost a year now, unbeknownst to me, while Heero and I had only recently been re-united.  
  
Emma's stomach growled, and I laughed and pointed to the kitchen. "There's drinks and snacks in the big cupboard on the left. Ice is in the refrigerator."  
  
She was gone a second later, clattering sounds emerging from the next room. Taking advantage of that temporary fact, I edged closer to the man beside me. "Na, Heero..."  
  
He slid an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. "Hai?"  
  
"Does she know?"  
  
His brows knit together in confusion. "Know what?"  
  
"About..." I waved a hand helplessly through the air, starting at me and ending on his chest. "You know."  
  
"Aa..." His eyes lit in understanding. "Yes, she does."  
  
"How much DOES she know, exactly?" I don't know why I was pressing him about this of all things. I just -- my thought pattern was cut off short when he leaned in close to my face, fingers ghosting across my mouth.  
  
"She knows that I love you."  
  
I swear to whatever gods there are that my heart almost stopped, right then and there. It at least skipped a few beats.  
  
I mean, he'd said it before, but suddenly it seemed immensely real, as it had not the first time. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out - and then he had covered the remaining distance between us, and his lips were on mine.  
  
===========  
  
  
I was thoroughly enjoying myself, halfway sprawled across Heero's lap, when a jumble of sounds shoved their way through the haze that was comfortably surrounding my brain. I pulled away; I could feel my face heating as he gave me first an odd look, then realized why I had stopped.  
  
"Oh..." His face joined mine in all it's crimson glory, straightening his shirt collar and sleeves. He reached out to do the same to me, then apparently though better of it and walked the short distance to the kitchen, poking his head around the door.  
  
I followed, relieved to see Emma sitting peacefully at the table and having no idea what had been occurring in the adjoining room. This was most definitely a good thing - Heero had said she knew how he felt about me, but I really didn't feel like giving a small child a talk about the birds and the bees, and how when some birds like other birds... well, yeah, you get the picture.  
  
  
Grasping Heero's hand, we entered, and I smiled at the snack she'd fixed herself. Spread out on the table were three different kinds of chips, a large glass of foaming orange soda, and a half-peeled banana that had been abandoned in favor of a stack of Oreos. My kind of girl. "Mind if we join you?"  
  
She looked up at us, swallowed, and favored us with a milk-mustache framed smile. "Sure! I mean, it IS your kitchen, huh?" The little girl handed me a cookie, and I poured myself a tall glass of milk before pulling up a chair and joining her at the table. I hid a smile when Heero settled himself behind me, arms leaning on the back of my chair.  
  
"Well, actually, it's his and his partners..." He raised an eyebrow. "Where IS Wufei, by the way? You didn't kick him out or anything, did you?"  
  
I placed a hand against my heart in mock horror and shock. "Me? Would I do something like that?!" I shrugged sheepishly at the look he gave me, adding hastily, "Nah; he's off visiting Sally. He left two days ago, so it's just been me here for a while. You have no idea how glad I am to see you. You don't want to know what I've been doing to amuse myself..." I caught myself and clamped my mouth shut, remembering small ears in the vicinity.  
  
Heero rested his chin on the crown of my head, his breath tickling my ears as he turned his head to the side. "No, I probably don't." One hand idly reached down, toying with my braid. "'missed you."  
  
"Missed you, too, Mr. Emotional. Almost drove Wufei nuts."  
A laugh. Gods, how I love to hear him laugh.   
  
Glancing over at Emma, I saw she'd fallen asleep on the table, face obscured by her hair and pillowed on her arms. I grinned, placing a finger of my mouth and pointing silently to her.  
  
Heero leaned down and whispered in my ear. "She must be exhausted...do you have an extra room?" He straightened, scooping her up in his arms and looking around uncertainly. Taking his arm, I led him to Wufei's room, currently unoccupied.   
  
"Please ignore any katanas or justice banners...I don't know if he took them with him or not." Pushing the door open, I breathed a sigh of relief - Wu'd taken his precious katana with him. No one would be losing fingers any time soon, not to mention more important body parts. I pulled down the covers as Heero gently tugged off Emma's shoes and set her down on the bed, draping the blankets back over her.  
  
I jumped slightly as I felt an arm slide sneakily around my waist. "Heero!" I glanced pointedly at the sleeping girl.  
  
"I know." A devilish smirk appeared on his face and he swept me over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, one hand pinching my ass as he nearly sprinted out of the room and tossed me on my bed in the other room. My eyes bugged out as he jumped on top of me, and I couldn't help but burst out in laughter.  
  
He pulled away, a perplexed look spreading across his features. "What?"  
  
"That was just so...so...random.... of you!" I drew my arms out from between our bodies and pushed his hair out of his face, staring up into his eyes. "So untypical! What possessed you?!"  
  
He nuzzled my neck, rolling off of me and pulling me against his chest until he was spooned comfortably around my body. "I have no idea. But if it gets me next to you, it can come back for a visit anytime."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "You're nuts."  
  
"Takes one to know one." He planted a sloppy kiss on my lips before I could respond, grinning as I wiped my mouth off and glared at him, though my heart wasn't in it.  
  
I turned over in his arms, burying my face in his shirt and inhaling deeply, not wanting to forget this moment. //Everything's gonna be all right for now...as long as...as long as...// I fought to keep my train of thought, but my body had other ideas and I could feel myself slowly drifting off to sleep. My eyes slid slowly shut, warmth overcoming me.  
  
I dreamed about Heero.  
  
---end Letters From Home, part 7---


End file.
